Burya n’ubwo abasore bose badateye kimwe, hari ibintu bahuriyeho nk’imyumvire n’imitekerereze rusange, bityo ibi bikaba ari ibintu byafasha umukobwa wifuza kuba uw’igikundiro ku mukunzi we, akabasha kunogera no kwishimirwa n’umusore bakundana kuburyo amwifuzaho kuba yamubera umufasha.
1. Kunda inshuti ze: Niba umusore mukundana afite abasore bagenzi be ubona ko ari inshuti magara, ibuka ko bafite ibyo bahuriyeho kandi bashobora kuba baranamugiriye inama igihe yafataga umwanzuro wo kugusaba urukundo. Wihita uhubuka ngo werekane ko inshuti ze ntaho uhuriye nazo ahubwo ereka umukunzi wawe ko wubaha kandi ukunda inshuti ze ubigiriye we, bizatuma arushaho kugira ishema kandi n’ikibazo mwagirana cyose za nshuti ze zakuvugira neza ku mukunzi wawe igihe cyose waba warazisanzuyeho ukazereka ko koko uri umukobwa w’umutima.
2. Mwereke ko umufuhira: Iyo tuvuze gufuha ntituba tuvuze gukabya. Niba rero umukunzi wawe umukunda, ibuka ko nyine hari n’inzindi nkumi zitabarika zimwifuza, umwereke ko ubizi ko ari mwiza kandi akurura abandi bakobwa, umwereke ko wababazwa no kumubona akundana n’undi mbese yumve ko nawe uzi ko afite igikundiro atari imbere yawe gusa ahubwo n’imbere y’abandi bakobwa.
3. Muhe umwanya, wimucungacunga cyane: Burya abahungu ntibakunda kwerekwa n’abakunzi babo ko babacungacunga kuri buri kantu, muhe rero umwanya n’ubwisanzure ureke yiyumvemo ubwigenge no kwifatira ibyemezo bityo azanumva ko akwiye kubikubahira no kwitwara neza, abikore kuko ari ngombwa atari ukubikora kuko wamucungacunze.
4. Mwereke ko unyurwa kandi ureke kumuzanaho ibikangisho: Abahungu burya banga abakobwa babashyiraho ibikangisho, bamwe baba bababwira ngo nudakora iki bizagenda gutya, ngo uramutse ukoze ibi ibyanjye nawe byahita birangirira aho, ngo nukora iki ntuzongere kumvugisha,… Wimuzanaho ibikangisho umwereka ko akwiye guterwa ubwoba n’uko wamwanga kuko watuma abikorera icyo cyangwa we agahita akureka. Menya kumwubaha no kumwereka ko ari we mwanzuro w’ubuzima bwawe.
5. Irinde gutuma afuha kandi umurwanire ishyaka: Kuba waba udaca inyuma umukunzi wawe ntibihagije, ukwiye no gukora ibishoboka ngo atagukeka akaba yagufuhira. Niba agukunda, yumva ko uri umukobwa n’abandi basore bifuza nk’uko nawe byagenze bityo akumva ko isaha n’isaha bagutwara. Uko umusore agukunda cyane niko arushaho kumva afite impungenge kuko aba yumva ufite agaciro gahambaye buri wese ukureba akubonamo. Kora ibishoboka byose rero ugabanye urukururano n’abandi basore, ugabanye gutaha amajoro cyane no kugira gahunda zidasobanutse kandi utanazimubwiye, mbese ukore ibishoboka byose ye kujya ahagarika umutima ko hari abandi mufitanye umubano wihariye.
6. Gerageza kugaragara neza uko ushoboye kose: Abasore burya bakururwa cyane n’ibigaragara kandi aba yumva yaterwa ishema no kugira umukunzi ugaragara neza, umwe azahura nawe ari kumwe n’inshuti ze ntagire ipfunwe ryo kuziratira ko ariwe mwamikazi w’umutima we. Iyiteho kandi ugaragaze isuku nk’umwari ubikwiye koko aho unyura abone ko uhanyurana umucyo.
7. Mukunde kandi ubyerekane: Muri iki gihe usanga abantu benshi bavuga ngo urukundo rw’ubu nta kigenda, ngo abakobwa b’ubu baratendeka n’ibindi nk’ibyo. Wowe rero mwereke itandukaniro ryawe n’abandi, wikwitwararika ngo wumve ko yazakureka ugaseba ahubwo mukunde, umuteteshe, umwereke ko ufite ishema rye mu bandi uzaba aribwo uharaniye ko atarota akureka. Nubikora neza azumva ko ntaho yagusiga ajya kandi yumve ko ntacyo yakuburanye yaba ajya gushaka.
8. Wikumva ko wageze iyo ujya ngo uterere agati mu ryinyo: Abakobwa benshi ndetse n’abagore, iyo bamaze igihe kinini bakundana n’abakunzi babo hari ubwo bajya bakora ikosa ryo kumva ko bafatishije, ko hari ibitakiri ngombwa ko bakora kuko barangije kwizera ko bakunzwe. Oya wikwishuka rwose, urukundo ni nk’umuzabibu ukenera kuhirirwa, kuvomererwa no gufumbirwa na nyuma y’uko wera imbuto. Nunamara kuba umugore, uzakunde kuzirikana cyane bya bintu wakoraga kera ugirango umushimishe kuko niba biri mu byamunyuze akumva ko mwanabana akaramata, ni uko nyine nabyo yabyifuzaga iteka. Wicika intege rero urukundo rukeneye guhora rwuhirirwa iteka.
