Gutwara umwanya mu rukundo bisobanuye kugenda gahoro mu mubano, mukajya imbere ku kigero mwembi mwiyumvanamo kandi mwishimiranye. Ibi bikubiyemo guhitamo, kumva amarangamutima, ndetse n’ubusabane.
Ariko, gukunda buhoro buhoro bisobanuye ibintu bitandukanye ku bantu. Twese turihariye, tugendera ku muvuduko wacu kandi tukita ku bintu mu buryo butandukanye. Kubera iyo mpamvu, ni ingenzi kuganira byimazeyo n’uwo mukundana kugira ngo mwumvikane uburyo mwakwitwara mu rukundo rutagira umuvuduko.Abantu bamwe bashobora kubona gushaka gufata ibintu buhoro ari ikintu kibi. Batekereza ko biterwa n’uko undi muntu atari yizeye ibyo akubwira cyangwa afite ubwoba bwo kongera kubabara.Nyamara, gukunda buhoro buhoro ntabwo buri gihe biba bibi. Ahubwo, bifite ibyiza byinshi. Reka turebe ibyiza byo kumenya uburyo bwo gukunda buhoro.Amarushanwa y’urukundo ashyushye cyane akenshi ntamara igihe. Akunda gutangira mu buryo bukomeye ariko akazima vuba.
Ayo marushanwa akenshi ashingira ku bushake bw’umubiri kuruta urukundo rw’ukuri. Iyo bushize, abantu bombi bashobora kwumva ko bidashoboka gukomeza umubano.
Dore impamvu gukunda buhoro ari ingenzi:
1.Kubaka Ubucuti Bukomeye: Urukundo rutari rushingiye gusa ku bwiza cyangwa ubushake bwa kamere ni rwo rubaho igihe kirekire. Gukundana nk’inshuti bizatuma mwubaka urufatiro rukomeye.
2.Mwiyongerera igihe cyo kwishimira uburyo bushya mubamo: Imitekerereze ya mbere y’urukundo irashimisha ariko ntabwo iramba. Gutwara umwanya bigufasha kwishimira igihe cya mbere cy’urukundo kurushaho.
3.Mukubaka Ubusabane Bwinshi: Gutwara umwanya bituma mwubaka ubusabane bwimbitse aho kuguma ku byo umuntu agaragara inyuma gusa.
4. Mukamenya Itandukaniro hagati y’Urukundo rw’ukuri n’amarangamutima y’agateganyo: Hari aho abantu batekereza ko amarangamutima ari urukundo, ariko akenshi bishobora kuba ari ugukunda by’igihe gito gusa.
5.Umwanya wo kumenya ko urukundo rushoboka: Iyo wihuta mu rukundo, ushobora kwirengagiza ibimenyetso by’umubano udashoboka. Gukunda buhoro biguha umwanya wo kubibona kare.
6.Mubungabungira Ubuzima bwanyu bwose: Iyo umuntu yihutira kwinjira mu rukundo, hari ibindi bintu by’ingenzi byasigara inyuma. Gukunda buhoro biguha umwanya wo gukomeza kwita ku nshuti, akazi, umuryango, ndetse n’ibindi bikorwa byawe.
7.Mubasha Kwiyitaho: Umwanya wo kuba wenyine ni ingenzi mu buzima bw’umuntu. Gufata umwanya mu rukundo bituma ushobora kwiyubaka no kwimenya kurushaho.
8.Mwongera Kwizera Umubano: Guhita winjira mu rukundo rwihuse ntibyubaka urufatiro rukomeye rwizewe. Ariko buhoro, mwongera kubaka ikizere.
Niba ushaka gukunda buhoro ariko byimbitse, shingiye kuri izi ngingo:
1. Mwitegure Igihe Kirekire cyo Kurambagizanya: Nubwo mwaba mukundana bisanzwe, ntimukihutire kwemeranya cyangwa kujya mu mubano wa nyawo. Mureke igihe cyo kurambagizanya kirambe uko bishoboka kose. Igihe cyo gukururana kiriho, urukundo ruzafata intera ikomeye kandi y’ukuri. Mwishimire icyo gihe cyo gukundana no kurambagizanya, maze mugire umubano urambye kandi mwiza.
2.Mukundane mbere yo kubitangaza: Nk’abantu, dukunda ibyiza twaharaniye cyane. N’ubwo urukundo rwaba rwumvikana, reka ubwiru bubanze bukomeze. Mwirinde guhubuka mu kwemeza umubano no kuwutangaza. Fata amezi nk’atandatu mukundana ariko mutaratangaza neza ko muri mu mubano. Ubu buryo butuma mwibuka neza uko mwatangiye.
3.Wirinda Imibonano Mpuzabitsina Mugihe Gishoboka Cyose: N’ubwo bishobora kugaragara nk’ibya kera, kwirinda gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina kare bishobora kubafasha gukomeza umubano wanyu mudahubutse. Byirinde mu ntangiriro, kugirango mwubake urukundo rudashingiye ku irari gusa.
4.Gira Ibikorwa Byerekana Urukundo: Jya ukora ibidasanzwe bishimisha uwo mukundana. Igihe ukiri mu gihe cyo gukundana, shyiramo imbaraga mu kwerekana urukundo rwawe binyuze mu bikorwa bito ariko by’ingenzi.
5.Igaragaze neza Igihe cyose muri kumwe::Jya ugira isuku n’uburyo bwiza bwo kwiyitaho buri gihe uri kumwe n’uwo ukunda. Guhora usa neza bizafasha mwese kwiyumvamo urukundo rwanyu nk’urw’ibitangaza.
6. Ntukamare Igihe Cyose uri Kumwe Na We: Ntumugire nk’umuntu uhora hafi yawe uko bwije n’uko bukeye. Muhe umwanya mukumburane, kuko ibyo bishobora kuzamura urukundo rwanyu.
7.Ba Umugabo cyangwa Umugore W’intangarugero: Mugirane umubano uhamye kandi wubakiye ku gucungana n’ubushishozi. Garagaza urukundo n’ubwubahane bihagije mu byo mukorana.
8.Komeza Umwuka wo Kurambagizanya N’ubwo Mwaba Mwinjiye mu Rukundo:Ntukabe umuntu woroshye kwigarurira cyangwa kwigaragaza nk’uwemera byose. Wihagarareho igihe ubonye uwo mukundana adaha agaciro ibyiyumvo byawe cyangwa akaguca inyuma.
9.Mukomeze Kuvugana n’Itumanaho Rihoraho: Ntibisaba guhora muri kumwe, ariko mwohererezanye ubutumwa, impano nto, cyangwa ibindi bituma buri umwe yishimira undi.
10.Mushake Ibyo Mukorana Bishya Kandi Bishimishije: Ntukihutire gukora byose icyarimwe. Mushake ibyo mukorera hamwe ariko kandi mube mufite n’ibindi bitekerezo bizabafasha mu gihe kizaza.
11.Haranira Guhora Uba Indakemwa: Ihame ni uko kwizerana mu rukundo ari ingenzi. Gerageza gukomeza kuba umuntu wizerwa kandi uharanira gutanga urukundo ruzira uburyarya.
12.Mwungurane Ibitekerezo no Kuvugana Kenshi: Nimuganire kuri byose: ibyifuzo byanyu, ibibazo cyangwa inzozi zanyu. Ibi bizatuma murushaho kumenyana neza no kugira urukundo rurambye.
13.Ntukajye Urangiza Impaka Utarazikemuye: Impaka ni ibisanzwe mu mubano, ariko mwirinde gusaoza mudakemuye izo mpaka. Mwemere kuganira, mwikuremo ibyo mutumvikanyeho kandi musezerane kutazabisubiramo.
14.Ntukibagirwe ImibonanoMu gihe mugiye mu mubano urambye, ntukareke imibonano mpuzabitsina izamo. Jya ushakisha uburyo bushya bwo kwishimana no gushimangira urukundo rwanyu.
15.Mukore Ibyerekana Urukundo buri munsi: Ndetse n’udushya duto tw’urukundo tworoheje dushobora gutuma umubano uhorana ishusho nziza.
16.Muganire Inzozi z’Ejo Hazaza
Mwige gushyira hamwe ibitekerezo by’ahazaza. Mwemere inzozi mugomba kugeraho nk’umuryango.
17.Reba Ibyiza muri Buri Kintu
Ntukajye wibanda ku bibi by’urukundo rwanyu, ahubwo ushyire imbere ibyiza.
18.Mufate Amafoto n’Amashusho Ashimishije: Mwige gufata ibihe byiza mwanyuzemo. N’ubwo byaba bisa nk’ibidafite agaciro uyu munsi, bizaba ifunguro ry’ibyishimo mu gihe kizaza.
19. Ntukagire Ibyo Witega Birenze Umubano Wanyu: Gira ibyifuzo bihwitse kandi wirinde kwishyiraho umutwaro w’ibirenze ubushobozi bwa buri umwe muri mwe.
20.Ba Wowe Nyirizina: Ntukiyoberanye cyangwa ngo ugaragaze uwo utari we. Ibi bituma urukundo rwanyu rushingira ku bwizerane bw’ukuri.Iyo ufashe igihe cyo gukundana buhoro buhoro, uba wiyubakira umubano urambye kandi wuzuye amahoro n’ibyishimo.
