Abakobwa benshi bakunda kwihutira gushaka abagabo ahanini batazi n’ubuzima bagiye kwinjiramo uko bumeze. Ni nayo mpamvu muri iki gihe hasigaye habaho gutandukana kw’abashakanye, urugo rutamaze kabiri.
Kwinjira mu byo basa nk’aho batazi kandi batanagishije inama abakuru ku ruhande rw’abakobwa ni byo ahanini bitera iki kibazo kuko umugore bavuga ko ari we ‘Mutima w’urugo’.
Gushaka no kubaka urugo ni iby’abantu bamaze gukura, atari mu myaka gusa ahubwo no mu ntekerezo. Kubaka urugo ugashaka umugabo ni ikintu cyiza cyane buri wese yakwifuza ariko iyo bihubukiwe bishobora kugutera igikomere kirenze uko wabyiyumvisha.
Izi ni impamvu 7 zituma abakobwa bihutira gushaka abagabo rimwe na rimwe imburagihe nk’uko byatangajwe n’urubuga Elcrema rutanga inama ku rukundo:
1.Gusiganwa n’imyaka: Iyo umukobwa ageze mu myaka 22, akenshi ahita atangira gutekereza gukora ubukwe agashaka umugabo cyane ko n’imyaka y’ubukure aba ayifite kandi n’amategeko abimwemerera. Abakobwa benshi bishyiramo ko nibura bagomba kurongorwa bafite imyaka nibura 25.
Iyo irenze, batangira kugira ubwoba ko bagiye kugumirwa. Iyo umukobwa atangiye gukorera ku bwoba bw’imyaka, ni hahandi usanga ahisemo nabi uwo bazarushinga cyangwa agahubuka mu buryo buziguye cyangwa butaziguye.
2.Gukora ubukwe: Abasore benshi ntibaha cyane agaciro gukora ubukwe (Marriage). Siko bimeze ku bakobwa. Gukora ubukwe ni cyo kintu umukobwa aba yumva cy’ingenzi mu buzima bwe. Uzarebe umukobwa watashye ubukwe bwa mugenzi we, umwegere umubaze uko yumva amerewe. Azagusubiza ko na we yumva ashaka kurongorwa. Imbaraga nke z’abagore ni uko bagira amarangamutima cyane. Bahumwa amaso n’ibirori bakibagirwa ko ubukwe nyabwo butangira bukeye bwaho.Kwambara ikanzu yera kuri bo ni cyo gisumba ibindi mu buzima. Ese kwihutira gukora ubukwe, ntimumarane kabiri byaba bimaze iki?
3.Igitutu cy’umuryango
Abagore benshi bakunda gushyira igitutu ku bakobwa babo. Ni mu gihe, aho abagore bava bakagera bagira imico ijya gusa. Ugasanga umugore arahoza umwana we ku nkeke ngo nagire arongorwe akeneye guterura umwuzukuru we. Ntiyibuke ko isi igenda ihinduka, ingo z’ubu zisigaye zihura n’ibigeragezo byinshi ugereranyije no ha mbere.
Ni bangahe uzi bubakiye ku gitutu cy’ababyeyi, umuryango cyangwa rubanda, bahisemo neza abagabo, bakaba babanye neza? Gushaka umugabo umukobwa abitewe n’igitutu cy’abantu, byanze bikunze akora amakosa, bikazamuviramo gusenya cyangwa kubaho nabi mu rugo rwe.
4.Na kanaka tungana yararongowe
Kuba mugenzi we bangana cyangwa aruta imyaka yarashatse umugabo, umukobwa ahita yumva na we byanze bikunze agomba kurongorwa. Umukobwa ubonye mugenzi we arongowe ,we agasigara , abibonamo igisebo kukuba na we ubwe atararongorwa. Gushaka kugira uko undi agize, bituma yinjira no bintu atazi iyo biva n’iyo bigana. Amahirwe yundi siyo yawe kandi baca umugani mu kinyarwanda ngo ‘uwitonze akama ishashi’.
5.Umugabo ‘ukize’
Uzakore iperereza ryawe kugiti cyawe , ubaze abakobwa muziranye, umugabo baba bifuza kurongorwa na we uko yaba ameze. Ntuzatungurwe no kumva benshi bagusubije igisubizo cyenda gusa. “Ndashaka kurogorwa n’umugabo ukize”. Iyo rero umukobwa ahuye n’umusore ukize (ufite uko yifashije) akamusaba kubana, ni amata aba abyaye amavuta. Akiyibagiza ko ubukire ataribwo buzana umunezero mu rugo. Niba atari byo, uzambarire imiryango ikize cyane uzi ibanye mu mudendezo.
6.Kugira abana hakiri kare
Buri nzozi z’umukobwa ni ukubyara , agaheka. Buri mukobwa aba afite mu nzozi ze uko ubuzima bwe bupanze :Kwiga akarangiza amashuri, akabona umugabo, ubundi akabyara abana akarera. Ntibiyibagize ko hari igihe byanga, ayo mashuri ntuyarangize, wayarangiza ntubone umugabo, wenda wanamubona ntimubone urubyaro. Ibyo ntibiba mu nzozi no mu ntekerezo z’abakobwa. Gushaka kwibaruka nabyo twabishyira mu bituma abakobwa bihutira kurongorwa imburagihe.
7.Urukundo
Iyo umukobwa usa nukuze akundanye n’umusore ,aba yumva ntakindi cyakurikiraho uretse kumurongora akamugira umugore. Atitaye ku myaka n’ubukure afite, iyo amusabye ko bakwambikana impeta si aho aba amukuye. Gukundana n’umusore ntibivuga kubana. Kugira ngo umuntu umuhitemo ko muzamarana ubuzima bwose usigaje ku isi bisaba kubyondera cyane.
8.Gupfundura agaseke
Kuba abakobwa bubu abenshi batakigira rutangira nabyo biri gutuma abakobwa bashaka abagabo igihe kitaragera. Iyo umukobwa ahaye ibanga rye umusore (Ubusugi bwe) cyangwa se baryamanye muri rusange akumva araryohewe, ahita yibeshya ko nibagera mu rugo bizaba ari umunyenga gusa, ntiyibwire ko wenda byanahinduka, ko kubaka urugo atari imibonano mpuzabitsina gusa, agahutiraho ngo arongorwe.
Byaruta kubaho uri ingaragu yishimye (Happy single)kuruta kuba umugore wazonzwe n’ibibazo. Gushinga urugo hari abo bibera paradizo yo ku isi abandi bikababera nk’umutwaro uremereye.
Umukobwa ushatse imburagihe ashobora kuzabihirwa n’urugo akicuza bitagishobotse kubera ko yinjiye mu isi atazi uko imeze, atabanje gutekereza neza ibyo agiyemo,..Kurebera ku bandi, guhitamo nabyo bishobora kuzaguta ku gasi.
Hitamo neza, wihutiraho, wigendera ku gitutu cy’umuryango,niba ushaka kuzubaka rugakomera. Baza abakuru (abo wizeye ko batakuroha)ubundi umenye icyo ukwiriye gukora igihe ufite ibitekerezo byo gushaka umugabo imburagihe. N’ubwo ntawe udakorwaho n’ibibazo ariko ibibazo byo mu ngo ,abagore nibo bigiraho ingaruka cyane ugereranyije n’abagabo
