Urukundo ni nk’Isi ifite amategeko yayo, imitekerereze yayo ndetse n’ururimi rwayo. Nubwo tuvuga Ikinyarwanda, Icyongereza cyangwa Igifaransa, hari urundi rurimi abantu bakundana bakoresha kugira ngo bumvikane neza kandi babane neza. Ni zo ndimi z’urukundo, indimi 5 umuntu wese ukunda cyangwa wifuza gukundwa akwiye kumenya.
Hari umugabo wakundaga umugore we ariko urugo rwabo rukagenda nabi. Amaze umwaka atumva uko amugeraho, yiyemeza gusura inshuti ye imuturiye kure kugira ngo amugishe inama. Icyo yamenye cyamuhinduriye ubuzima: Yigishijwe ururimi rumwe mu ndimi z’urukundo 5, ararwigaho, asubira mu rugo abishyira mu bikorwa, maze urukundo rwabo rutangira gusubira mu murongo. Ni ngombwa rero kumenya izi ndimi kugira ngo ubashe kumenya ururimi rw’umukunzi wawe n’uko wamugera ku mutima.
Dore indimi 5 z’urukundo ukwiriye kumenya:
1. Amagambo yo gushima no kugaragaza urukundo
Hari abantu bakenera kumva amagambo meza kugira ngo bumve ko bakunzwe. Gushima ibyo bakora, kubabwira ko ubakunda, kubibutsa ko bafite agaciro, ni ibintu bibafata ku mutima. Gukunda umuntu ntibihagije, banakeneye kubyumva mu buryo buhoraho. Aya magambo ni nk’isoko ibanywesha, ikabaha ubuzima.
2. Gumuha umwanya n’igihe cyawe
Hari abantu batita ku byo ubabwira, ahubwo bareba umwanya ubaha. Igihe murikumwe, umwumva, umuseka, muganira—ibyo biruta amagambo yose wabavuga. Umwanya ni nk’impano ikomeye iruta ibindi byose ku muntu ufite uru rurimi nk’ururimi rw’urukundo.
3. Ibikorwa bifatika
Ibi bikorwa ni nk’imirimo mito yuje urukundo: kumufasha, kumutekera, kumuzanira amazi, kumuherekeza—ibintu byoroheje ariko byerekana ko utekereza kuri we. Hari abakundana batavuga amagambo menshi ariko ibikorwa byabo bivuga byinshi. Niba uri muri iki cyiciro, menya ko ibikorwa bivuga kurusha amagambo.
4. Gutanga impano
Impano ni uburyo bwo kuvuga “Ndagukunda” mu buryo butagira amagambo. Ntibisaba ibintu bihenze, ahubwo ni igikorwa cyerekana ko watekereje ku mukunzi wawe. Hari abakunda kwibutswa ko bafite agaciro binyuze mu mpano, byaba ari isaro rito, igikapu cyangwa agatabo bakunda.
5. Gukoranaho
Hari abakenera gukorwaho kugira ngo bumve ko bakunzwe: kumufata ukuboko, kumuhobera, kumusoma—ibi byose bituma yumva atekanye kandi yegereye uwo akunda. Nubwo abandi babibona nk’ibisanzwe, kuri we ni ururimi rwimbitse rw’urukundo.
Umusozo:
Gary Chapman, inzobere mu mibanire y’abashakanye, yavuze ko buri muntu agira ururimi rumwe cyangwa abiri yumva nk’inkoramutima. Iyo ubonye ururimi rw’umukunzi wawe, ukumva n’urwawe, ubasha kuganira nawe mu buryo bwagutse, urukundo rwanyu rukarushaho gukomera.
Ese wowe ururimi rwawe rw’urukundo ni uruhe? Urw’umukunzi wawe ni uruhe? Igihe ni iki ngo mutangire kwiga kuvugana mu ndimi z’urukundo zizatuma mubana neza, muhuje, mutuje kandi mukundana by’ukuri.
