Mubuzima bwa muntu, anezezwa no gukunda gusa bikaba karusho iyo nawe akunzwe nuwo yakunze. abahanga muby’ubuzima bwo mumutwe ni mibanire, bemeza ko gukundwa nuwo wakunze birimubyiyumviro byiza byambere bibaho mubuzima bwa muntu. Dushingiye mubigaragara mu mico yahantu henshi hagiye hatandukanye bigaragara ko umuhungu ariwe utangiza umubano we hagati ye numukobwa. Gusa akenshi usanga hakunze kubamo imbogamizi muruko gushaka urukundo cyangwa se ibyo dukunda kwita gutereta mumvugo y’urubyiruko, ugasanga umukobwa wakunze we ntabashije kugukunda, ibyo nanone urubyiruko rukunze kwita gukatira cyangwa gutera indobo!
Gusa ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko nibura hari ibintu icumi biyanye nimyitwrire, umusore akora akabasha kwigarurira umutima wuwo yakunze byoroshye! hatabayeho guterwa indobo/gukatirwa. Uyumunsi rero tukaba twishimiye kubagezaho ibyo bintu byagufasha mugutereta ndetse no kwigarurira umutima w’umwali kuburyo bworoshye.
1.Kwigirira ikizere: Nkuko tubizi twese ikizere nicyo cyambere mubintu byose muri iyisi, ntakintu wakora ngo gikunde wowe ubwawe utabanje kwigirira ikizere ndetse ntanuwakugiria ikizere wowe utakigiriye. Rero mugutereta ugomba kubanza ukigirira ikizere.
2.Ugomba gutuma uyu mwali yumva atekanye kandi arinzwe mugihe murikumwe.Ibi uzabikora mugihe muzajya muba muri mubandi ukamurwanirira cyangwa se ukajya kuruhande rwe kabone niyo yaba ari mumafuti. Kandi ukajya umufasha mubibazo bye byaburi munsi nko kumugira inama, ndetse no kumwumva mugihe akuganirije.
3.Gerageza kumwereka ko uri mwiza mugutega abantu amatwi(good listener), cyane cyane mugihe ari kukubwira ibintu niyo waba wumva wowe ntagaciro bifite, gerageza kumwereka ko uri kumwe nawe ndetse ugire ninyunganizi umuha.
Ibi bizatuma abonako umwumva ndetse abashe no kujya agufungukira mugihe yagize ikibazo akugishe inama bityo ukomeze kuba umwizerwa kuriwe.
4.Ikindi, ugomba gushyiramo imbaraga mugushaka umubano ukomeye hagati yawe nawe. Ntago ukwiye kumva ko uteye intambwe imwe ngo wumve ko bihagije. Ukeneye gukomeza kuvomererera umubano wanyu muburyo bugiye butandukanye nibyo bizagufasha gutuma abona ko ntawe uhwanye na we.
- Ikintu kindi kingenzi ugomba kwitaho cyane, nukumwubaha. Abantu benshi dukunda abantu baduha agaciro bakatwubaha ndetse bakubaha nibitekerezo byacu. Urabyumva rero ntiwaba uriguterereta umuntu utamwubaha, ngo wizere ko azagukunda.
6.Gerageza kumwereka ko Atari ibyawe gusa ko ahubwo nawe abifitemo inyungu. Kuvugisha ukuri no kumwereka icyo ugamije kuriwe nindi ngingo ikomeye yagufasha kwegukana umutima wumukobwa, mwereke uburyo umwiyumvamo kandi ukore uko ushoboye kuburyo ibikorwa byawe nabyo bibigaragaza. Aha ushobora nko kumwereka ko utamuharaye ahubwo umufiteho gahunda ndende yo kubamwanarushinga.
7.Kora buryo ki umwuzuza cyagwa umutera imbaraga mubyo akora, aha ninko kumuhumuriza mugihe yagize umunsi mubi, umubwira amgambo amusubizamo intege ndetse no kumushimira mugihe harintsinzi yagezeho uwomunsi
8.Mugaragarize ko haribyo wowe ubwawe Wabasha kwitaho kugiti cyawe bitagombye ko abigukorera. Kuriyingingo abagabo bakunda kwitabwaho cyane nabagore, cyane cyanemubintu bijyanye nisuku nko kumesa,guteka, ndetse nindi mirimo yo murugo . aha rero abakobwa bakunda kubona umuntu ubasha kuba yabyikorera atagombye ko babimukorera.
9.Indi ngingo ikomeye yaguasha, nugutegamatwi ndets no kwita kutuntu akunda kuvuga ko akunda. Ibi bizagufasha mukumenya ibyo umukorera ndetse n’impano wamugurira mugihe ushaka kumutungura(surprise). Ibi kandi bizagufasha mugutuma yishima bityo arusheho kugukunda.
10.Icyanyuma twasorezaho cyagufasha, nukumuha umwanya wo kwivugaho we ubwe. Wishaka kwiharira ikiganiro cyane mugihe murikuganira, ngo ufate umwanya wo kwivugaho cyane ngo we umwime umwanya. Kuko ibi bizatuma agufata nkimvuzivuzi ndetse yumveko we utazajya umuha umwanya ngo akubwire icyo atekereza muramutse mukundanye.
Nahawe rero ho kureba igikwiye ugomba gukora kugirango wegukane umutima w’umukobwa ukunda.
Yanditswe na Emie Kwizera.
