Nubwo benshi bafata imibonano mpuzabitsina nk’uburyo bwo kwishimisha, hari inyungu zitabarika zituruka mu kuyikora buri gihe kandi neza, gusinzira neza akaba ari imwe muri zo, Abagore benshi bibaza impamvu abagabo basinzira nyuma yo gutera akabariro gusa ngo nubwo atari ihame ko bose bibabaho ariko abagore bakeneye kumenya impamvu ibitera.Urubuga Elcrema rwatangaje impamvu icumi (10) zituma abagabo basinzira nyuma yo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina:
1.Umubiri w’umuntu: Gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina nijoro, cyane cyane iyo umubiri w’umuntu umaze kunanirwa, niyo mpamvu ya mbere ku miterere yo gusinzira ibaho nyuma yo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Imibonano nk’iyo ntikenera no ‘gusaba’ cyane. Ugomba kuzirikana ko imibonano mpuzabitsina, muri kamere yayo, iruhura cyane.
2. Ni umuti: Imiterere yo gushaka guhita usinzira igomba gusobanurwa mu buryo bwiza kuko byerekana ko wageze ku byishimo bya nyuma (kurangiza) kandi ko byose byagenze neza. Mu bihe bidasanzwe, abagabo bananirwa mu gihe na nyuma y’imibonano, bikaba igihe kirekire, birashobora ko baba bafite ibibazo by’ubuzima bakeneye ubuvuzi. Kuri iki kibazo, ugomba gusiga ukutiyizera no kwiyemera ku ruhande ukagana abaganga kugira ngo ugenzurwe byuzuye.
3. Hari imisemburo y’ibitotsi ikorwa mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina: Nyuma yo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ubwonko bw’umugabo buba bwuzuwemo n’ibitotsi kubera imisemburo irimo oxytocin, serotonin na prolactin, iyo icyo gikorwa kirangiye agahita asinzira.
4. Umuvuduko w’amaraso uba uri hejuru: Mu gihe cyo gutera akabariro, amaraso y’umugabo aba yihuta cyane , bitewe n’uko umubiri uba wakoresheje imbaraga , iyo birangiye habaho gusinzira kuko umubiri uba wananiwe.
5. Igice cy’ubwonko cyitwa Cerebral Cortex kirazima: Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe bwagaragaje ko nyuma yo gutera akabariro, igice cy’ubwonko cyitwa Cortex Celebral gifasha umuntu gutekereza gisa n’igisinziriye mu gihe ibindi bice by’ubwonko byo bisigara birwana no kuvana ubushake bw’imibonano mpuzabitsina mu mubiri .
6. Kurangiza (Gusohora): Abagabo barangiza mu gihe cyo gusohora, kandi muri icyo gihe imisemburo irekurwa itera ubunebwe, gusinzira bikagaragara cyane kuruta uko bisanzwe byigaragaza. Nubwo kwiregura no kuruha k’umubiri ari byiza, biba bibi cyane, kandi bikarushya cyane.
7.Ibintu bisubira uko byari bisanzwe: Abantu benshi bakunda gufunga umwuka rimwe na rimwe mu gihe barimo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Injyana yo guhumeka igahinduka. Ku bw’ibyo, bitera kubura ogisijeni, bigira uruhare mu gukenera kuruhuka – nta kintu gikomeye, ibintu byose bigaruka mu bisanzwe mu gihe gito.
8. Ahakorewe imibonano mpuzabitsina: Indi mpamvu nyuma yo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ituma abagabo basinzira ni aho yakorewe. Niba ari ku buriri birumvikana ariko niba ari mu modoka cyangwa ahandi hantu hadatanga ubwisanzure ngo ntiwasinzira.
9. Igihe imibonano yakorewe: Indi mpamvu yatuma umuntu asinzira ni igihe imibonano mpuzabitsina yakorewe. Iyo ikozwe mu masaha y’ijoro n’ubundi umubiri uba unaniwe ukeneye kuruhuka.Icyo gihe iyo umugabo ahise asinzira biba bitewe n’uko n’ubundi umubiri uba ubikeneye.
10. Kunanirwa: Bavuga ko gutera akabariro bingana no gukora siporo yo kwiruka, ibi bituma abagabo bakoresha imbaraga nyinshi ndetse bakanabira ibyuya kuburyo bananirwa nk’abakoze akazi ki ngufu. Ibi bituma iyo basohoye bahita basinzira kubera ko baba bananiwe.
