Niba uteganya gusaba umukobwa mukundana ko azakubera umugore,mukabana,kumenya niba witeguye koko gushaka ni icya kabiri cyo gutsinda urugamba . Ugomba ariko kumenya niba umukobwa mukundana muzabana rugakomera,urugo rwanyu ukarugiriramo ibyishimo n’umunezero.
Urukundo rwonyine ntiruhagije kugira ngo wiyemeze gushaka umugore cyangwa umugabo. Hari n’indi mico y’umukunzi wawe uba ugomba kwitegereza no kwitondera kugira ngo ufate icyemezo,Ikinyamakuru Elcrema kivuga ko hari imico imwe n’imwe umukobwa mukundana ashobora kuba afite ,ikaba ari ibimenyetso bikuburira ko atazavamo umugore muzima,ushobotse muzabana akaramata.Ibimenyetso 8 bigaragaza ko umukobwa mukundana azavamo umugore mubi:
1. Aguca ku nshuti n’abavandimwe: Umukobwa uba udashaka ko ugirana ibihe byiza n’inshuti zawe,mugasabana,wa mukobwa uba utifuza ko ugenderera umuryango wawe ,akababazwa n’uko hari icyiza wabakorera cyane cyane kubafasha ku byerekeranye n’umutungo,ntuzatekereze ko nimubana aribwo azahinduka.
2. Iyo bigukomeranye uramubura: Umukobwa mukundana,iyo ibihe bikubanye bibi ntimuba muri kumwe. Mu buzima ntabwo ibintu bihora bigenda uko ubyifuza. Hari igihe ibibazo bikubana byinshi,ukabura epfo na ruguru. Iyo ubukungu bwifashe nabi,umukobwa mwiza mukundana ntimuba mukivuga rumwe. Iyo umaze kubyigobotoramo ukagira intambwe utera runaka,aho muba bamwe. Urukundo akaruguhundagazaho. Ese ko ibihe biha ibindi, nimugera mu rugo rwanyu ,ibintu bigahinduka ,muzabasha kumvikana? Ni ukuvuga ko afite icyo agukurikiyeho kitari urukundo.
3. Nta ntego agira mu buzima: Ubusanzwe umusore wese aba yifuza gushaka umugore ufite intego runaka kandi nibura uzamufasha kugera ku ntambwe ifatika mu gihe kizaza. Ikizakubwira ko umukobwa mukundana azavamo umugore mubi ni uko mu mutwe we nta kintu apangira ahazaza. Kuri we iyo bwakeye biba ari ibyo kandi ahanini mwene aba bakobwa baba bategereje kuzarambiriza ku mugabo. Inshingano zose akaziguharira.
4. Aragutegeka: Nubwo mutarabana ariko aba ashaka ko ukora ibyo ashaka,ujya aho yumva yifuza,kukuyobora mu biganiro mugirana..ko ukora ibyo we yumva bimunyuze. Ngaho re,ko bitangiye kare,ubwo nimugera mu rwanyu bizagenda bite?Ko abashakanye babanira kuzuzanya no kujya inama,mugakora ibibafitiye inyungu,nta kwikunda kubayeho,bizacura iki nimugera mu rugo? Ntazakwitegekera ukabura ayo ucira nayo umira?
5. Aguca inyuma: Umukobwa se uguca inyuma mukiri n’ingaragu nimugera mu rwanyu nibwo iyo ngeso azayicikaho? Yego uba ubona utamuhara cyane urebeye ku bwiza bwe ndetse ukibwira ko uzamuhindura ariko iki ni ikimenyetso cyuko ushobora kuzabaho ubabaye mu rugo rwawe kubera umugore w’umushurashuzi. Ubwiza sibwo bwubaka urugo. Hari benshi babugendeyeho birengagiza ingeso kuri ubu bakaba bicuza.
6. Mu buriri ntimuhuza: Ubusanzwe umusore n’inkumi bemerwa gukora imibonano nyuma y’uko bamaze kubihererwa uburenganzira n’amategeko ndetse n’idini. Nubwo bimeze gutyo ariko , muri iyi minsi biragoye kubona abantu babana batararyamana. Niba rero mwararyamanye (kandi mukaba mutari mubyemerewe), mukaba mudahuza kuri iyo ngingo , mu rugo rwanyu witegure guhangana n’ibibazo. Uguhuza cyangwa ukudahuza mu gihe cyo gutera akabariro bigira ingaruka nziza cyangwa mbi ku mibanire yanyu.
7. Arafuha ku buryo bukabije: Nubwo gufuha mu buryo buringaniye biba ari ngombwa mu rukundo,gufuha kuburyo bukabije bikurura umwuka mubi hagati y’abakundana. Niba umukobwa mukundana atifuza ko uvugana n’abandi bakobwa,ko utagirana umubano wose n’igitsinagore aho kiva kikagera,ni ukuvuga ko atakwizera . Kwambikana impeta sibyo bizazana icyizere cyangwa ngo bikemure uko gufuha kwe gukabije.
8. Ntajya yemera amakosa::Mu buzima nta muntu udakosa. Kwemera ikosa igihe hari aho wakosheje ndete ukabisabira imbabazi ntibigabanya icyubahiro wari ufite,ntibikuraho ubwiza n’uburanga wari usanganywe,..Niba rero iyo agukoshereje atajya yemera amakosa ye ,ahubwo akakurusha uburakari,ntutegereze ko bizahinduka nimubana iyi ni imwe mu mico ishobora kukugaragariza ko umukobwa mukundana ndetse wenda muteganya kubana ashobora kutazavamo umugore mwiza nkuko ubyifuza.