Bibaho cyane ko abakundana usanga bibeshya ko bari mu rukundo rwa nyarwo, nyamara bakundana urw’agahararo batabizi.Iyo ukunda umuntu urukundo rw’agahararo, wowe uba wumva umukunda nyabyo kimwe n’uko urukundo rw’ukuri narwo rujyana n’ibyiyumviro.
Urubuga www.topsante.fr ari narwo dukesha iyi nkuru, ruvuga ko urukundo ari amayobera kandi kuruhishura by’ukuri bitoroha, gusa ngo hari ibintu by’ingenzi wagenderaho ukamenya niba umuntu agukunda urukundo rw’ukuri cyangwa urw’agahararo.
1.Uru rukundo rutangira kandi rukemera nk’aho nta gihe cyo gutekereza kibayeho, rufatiraho, kandi nta gihe cyo kumenyana rugira.
2.Uru rukundo rugereranywa n’akazu kubakishije umucanga gusa, kuko rutaramba cyangwa ngo rumare igihe: rurashyuha, rukamenyekana henshi, ariko rurangira vuba. Aha ngo ukunda umuntu nyuma y’ukwezi wabona undi umurusha ibyo wakurikiye kuri we, ukaba uramuretse wagukiye wa wundi.
3.Urukundo rw’agahararo rubuza amahoro, kuko ruba rwarakurikiye imimerere igaragara inyuma nk’uburanga cyane cyane, imyambarire n’ubutunzi. Iyo ibyo byose uwari wabikurikiye atakiri kubibona kuri mugenzi we, atangira kubura amahoro yibaza uburyo agiye kwishakira abandi babifite, ndetse anibaza uko agiye kuruvamo n’uwo utakiri kumugaragarira nka mbere.
4.Urukundo rw’agahararo ruba rufite impamvu ariko zishingira cyane ku kwikunda.
5.Iyo havutse akabazo gato hagati y’abakundana, uru rukundo ruhita ruhagarara, mbese urukundo rw’agahararo ntiruzi kwihangana.
6.Urukundo rw’agahararo rugendera ku marangamutima y’abandi, ntirwigera rwifatira icyemezo.
7.Urukundo rw’agahararo nta kuri rugira, ruriyoberanya, rurirarira. Guhishanya biraruranga, urufite ntiyigera yumva yakwiyereka mugenzi we uko ari, ahora yirata ibyo afite n’ibyo adafite yaba imitungo, imibereho n’amateka y’ubuzima akurikije uko abona mugenzi we, n’ubwo ashobora kuba amwibeshyaho.
8.Uru rukundo rw’agahararo nta ntambwe rutera, n’iyo rwayitera ruba rugira ngo rwigerere kuri bimwe mu byo rwakurikiye nk’ubutunzi cyangwa se igitsina. Aha ni hamwe ukunda azajya akosereza mugenzi we nabimubwira yumve ntacyo bimutwaye, nta mbabazi yamusaba cyangwa ngo yihatire kwihana iryo kosa ubutazarisubira. Naramuka amusabye imbabazi ntazabikorera kuko yumva yahemukiye mugenzi we, ahubwo azazimusabira kugira ngo icyo amutezeho atagihagarika.
9.Uru rukundo ruba rushingiye gusa ku byo umuntu yashimye ku wundi bigaragara inyuma
10.Urwo rukundo rutuma umuntu atabona aho undi afite intege nke n’ibyiza afite rukabikabiriza.