Niba umukobwa mukundana yishimiye urukundo rwanyu nawe ntacyo atazakora ngo wishime. Niyo mpamvu ugomba kumenya ibishobora gutuma arambirwa imibanire yanyu niba wifuza ko urukundo rwanyu ruramba.Dore bimwe mu bituma umukobwa cyangwa umugore mukundana arambirwa urukundo rwanyu nk’uko urubuga Women Resources rubivuga:
- Wahagaritse kumutereta
Usanga abasore iyo bagitangira guterera bakora iyo bwabaga ngo bemererwe urukundo harimo gusohokana umukobwa, kumuhamagara kenshi, kumwoherereza ubutumwa bugufi, kumutungura wenda bamuha impano n’ibindi biba bigamije kugaragara nk’udasanzwe. Gusa ikibabaje ni uko iyo bamaze kwemererwa urukundo cyangwa se tuvuge kubana ibyo byose biyoyoka ndetse bigashira burundu.Aya ni amakosa akomeye cyane abagabo bakora nyamara burya umenye ko ibyo wakoze ngo ugaragare nk’udasanzwe iyo utakibikora udashobora kongera kugaragara nk’udasanzwe nyine ahubwo uba umuntu usanzwe nk’abandi bose.
2. Ntumufasha mu byo mu rugo
Ibi birareba cyane abagabo. Niba udafasha umugore wawe ibyo mu rugo kandi umugore wawe na we afite akazi ka buri munsi agomba kujya gukora nkawe menya ko urimo wisenyera. Kuri ubu abagore na bo bajya gukora akazi nk’abagabo gusa iyo abagore bageze mu rugo bagomba kwita ku byo mu rugo mu gihe umugabo yaciye mu kabari kunywa kamwe cyangwa se yaba yanatashye akaba ari muri ruganiriro aruhuka. Akazi ko mu rugo no kumenya iby’urugo ni akazi kenshi umugabo rero ushaka kubaka neza rugakomera agomba gufasha umugore we mu kazi ko mu rugo cyangwa se agashaka abakozi bazajya bamufasha.Hari abagabo usanga bataka ngo abagore babo bahora bababwira ko bananiwe nyamara ntibite ku kazi baba bakoze mu gihe bo barimo kuruhuka.
- Ntukimwitaho
Niba umukobwa mukundana agusabye ikintu cyangwa akakubaza ikibazo ntumusubize kugeza ubwo agisubiramo 2,3,4… Menya ko urimo wiyicira urukundo kuko azageraho akumva arakurambiwe. Hari abibwira ko kwihorera umuntu bishobora gukemura ikibazo: “Ngo azageraho abyibagirwe cyangwa bimushiremo”, ibi ntibikora ku muntu mukundana.
- Uri umunebwe mu buriri
Muri iki gihe usanga abasore n’inkumi bashobora gutera akabariro mbere yo kurushinga. Niba rero mubikoze maze ukagaragara nk’umunebwe menya ko nta mahirwe ufite imbere y’uyu mukobwa. Gusa n’iyo mwaba mwarashakanye naho ni cyo kimwe kuko mu gihe amaze kumva ko uri umunebwe ndetse ko ntacyo ushoboye mu buriri bizamugora kugukunda no kukubaha.Ugomba guhora witaye kuri iki kintu kuko ari ik’ingenzi, kunda umugore wawe kandi ugerageze kumushimisha no kumukorera ibyo yifuza ko umukorera igihe mwiherereye.