Mu buzima bwacu bwa buri munsi nta gishimisha nko gukunda ugakundwa kuko uba wumva uri mu munezero no mu munyenga. Nyamara nubwo bimeze bityo hari gihe bibaho ko uwo wari wizeyeho urukundo arukwima cyangwa se akakwihinduka ku munota wa nyuma.
Guterwa indobo (nkuko ari ryo zina byabatijwe) birababaza kandi bigashengura umutima bikarushaho kuba bibi cyane iyo uwo wari wizeyeho urukundo wari wara maze kumwimariramo wese.
Guterwa indobo bamwe babyiyibagiza biyahuza inzoga n’ibiyobyabenge. Nubwo ibi bikuraho agahinda by’igihe gito, ntabwo biba bicyemuye ikibazo burundu kuko iyo bigushizemo urongera ugatekereza ku byakubayeho, nubwo akenshi usanga dushinja abaduteye indobo ko baduhemukiye, ku rundi ruhande ushobora gusanga na wa wundi wimwe urukundo abifitemo uruhare nkuko muri iyi nkuru tugiye kubivuga.
Uwo usabye urukundo ntabwo yiteguye:Buri wese agira uko ayobora amarangamutima ye kandi urukundo narwo ruyoborwa n’amarangamutima. Mu gushaka uwo musangira urukundo hari igihe ugwa ku muntu utiteguye kuruguha uko urushaka. Biterwa n’impamvu nyinshi. Ashobora kuba hari imipaka runaka yishyiriyeho ituma igihe yihaye ngo akundane kitaragera. Ashobora kuba ari mu gahinda k’uwo yakundaga batandukanye, witabye Imana, cyangwa ukundi guhangayika gutuma adashaka umujyana mu bintu by’inkundo, Nuko wamubwira ko wifuza ko mukundana agahita aguhakanira Atari uko akwanze ahubwo kuko kuri we igihe kitaragera. Niho uzumva umuntu ashobora kukubwira ati ibyo uzabimbwire mu myaka ibiri iri imbere, itanu se cyangwa akakubwira ko bitamurimo. Iyo ushoboye kwihangana ugategereza hari igihe kigera amaze gutuza urukundo mukarusangira.
Ntuzi ibyo urimo: Nibyo koko hari abantu bajya mu rukundo batazi ibyo barimo. Ukumva muri wowe ushaka gukundana ariko ibikorwa byawe bikagaragaza ko utari mu murongo wo gukundana, Bishobora kuba ubumenyi bucye bwo gutereta, kutabasha kwerekana icyo ushaka koko cyangwa se kuba udakuze mu mutwe mu bijyanye n’urukundo. Aha hanazamo guhuzagurika ukaba mvuye aha ngiye aha, ibi rero uwo wifuzaho urukundo abibonamo kutamenya icyo ushaka cyangwa se kudakura, Ibuka ko abantu dutandukanye kandi imirimo ibiri yananiye impyisi. Wivanga gukunda no gushaka akazi no kwiga no gushaka ubuzima n’ibindi kuko urukundo rusaba ko uba utuje kugirango uhe umwanya uhagije uwo ukunda cyane cyane mu gutangira kuko iyo rumaze gukomera noneho ibindi wajya wabikora kuko nawe abigufashamo. Nta gihe ntarengwa cyo gushaka urukundo, rero wicyeka ko igihe cyakurenganye ngo uhutireho kandi mu mutwe utiteguye bihagije.
Ntabwo uri kugeza aho yifuza, Aha niho ruzingiye wa mugani wa wa muririmbyi. Ikintu kibaho kigoye ni ukumenya uwo ushaka gukunda uko ashaka gukundwa cyangwa uburyo bwiza bwo kumwereka urukundo. Gutereta si ibintu bihita byizana urabyiga ukaniga uwo utereta. Wikigira uwo utari we ngo ucyeke ko aribwo uzakundwa. Amagambo umubwira, igihe uyamubwirira, ibyo umukorera n’igihe ubikorera byose hamwe n’ibindi binyuranye usabwa kubyitaho no kubimenya bihagije. Icya mbere usabwa ni ugukanda kuri bouton ituma yirekura akakwibwira wese ku buryo amarangamutima ye uyamenya nawe ukamubwira ayawe. Aha iyo umaze kuhamenya uba wabashije gutsinda igitego. Niho uzasanga hari ukubwira ati kuva nabaho sindaterwa indobo, undi akubwire ko izo amaze kurya atazi umubare wazo. Byose biva mu kumenya uko utwara urukundo, Hano uzirikane kandi wibuke ko abantu bose Atari bamwe bityo ntugirengo uko Rucahaga yaterese Mukamusoni niko Busyete azatereta Nyirandizanye. Oyaaaa. Uwo ushaka ko mukundana arihariye nkuko nawe wihariye ahubwo kora uko ushoboye umenye ibyatuma umutima we uwubonamo ikibanza kandi nugeramo ukore ibituma ugumamo kuko uko wamubonye niko n’abandi bamubona ucunze nabi bagukuramo (ukarya gapapu).
Ushyize imbere imibonano mpuzabitsuna gusa:Aha hareba cyane abagabo kurenza ko hareba abagore. Burya umuntu ugenzwa n’imibonano gusa ntabwo wamuyoberwa keretse nawe uri impumyi. Uko uganira, ibiganiro ukunda kumujyanamo, ahantu uba ushaka ko muhurira, amasaha uba ushaka ko muhura byose ashobora kubishingiraho akamenya ko ikikuraje ishinga ari imibonano gusa. Aha rero naba umukobwa utagenzwa n’imibonano gusa ntugirengo urukundo rwanyu ruzarenga umutaru, Niba unagenzwa koko n’imibonano kuko nabwo ni uburenganzira bwawe, kuki utabimubwira udaciye ku ruhande ariko? Ushobora gusanga nawe muri mu nzira imwe cyangwa se Atari ko bimeze bityo bigahagarara hakiri kare utabanje kuvunika cyangwa gushoramo imitungo.
Muri macye guhakanirwa urukundo birababaza kandi biremerera umutima ariko buri wese aba akwiye kureba ku ruhande rwe niba nta ruhare yaba abigiramo bityo guhindura imiteretere n’imikundire bikaba uburyo bwiza bwafasha gukunda no gukundwa nkuko ubyifuza.
