Ibyaribyo byose nawe ntihabuze abantu uzi bakundanye igihe kinini ariko batandukana bashwanye umwe agahita yishakira undi bagahita banarushinga mu gihe gito cyane nyamara uwo bamaranye igihe akiri aho ngaho.Ibi bibaho kenshi bigatuma abantu bibaza ukuntu umukobwa wakundanye n’umusore imyaka myinshi, umusore amureka agasaba uwo bahuye vuba ko bashyingiranwa. Ibi byatumye ikinyamakuru Bright side dukesha iyi nkuru kinjira mu ntekerezo z’abagabo kivumbura impamvu zirindwi (7) zitera abagabo aya mahitamo.
1.Kubana mu nzu n’umusore mukundana bigabanya 50% ku mahirwe yo kuzakugira umugore:Inzobere mu by’imitekerereze ziburira abakobwa ko bakwiye kwirinda kubana mu nzu n’abasore bakundana. Abasore benshi basaba abakobwa kuzababera abagore iyo bamaze amezi 22 bakundana nyuma yaho amahirwe yo kuzakugira umugore agabanukaho 20%, iyo hashize imyaka 3 mukundana amahirwe yo kuzakugira umugore agabanukaho 50%, iyo mu maze imyaka irenga 7 mu kundana amahirwe yo kuzakugira umugore aba ari 0%.
2.Gukundana igihe cya nyacyo kitaragera:Hari umuntu washyize ku mbuga nkoranyambaga ubutumwa bugira buti ‘Abasore benshi ntabwo barongora umukobwa bakundanye cyane, barongora umukobwa ubari hafi igihe biteguye gutangira umuryango’.Mu batanze ibitekerezo kuri ubu butumwa bwari bwashyizwe kuri twitter muri 2018, harimo abagabo bahishuye ko abo bakundanye igihe kirekire ataribo barongoye.Umusore iyo abonye uwo yashakaga kugira umugore ashyingiwe bimutera ubushake bwo guhita ashinga urugo, icyo gihe ntabwo arindira kubona umukobwa mwiza bakundana, ahubwo areba mu bakobwa bari hafi ye akarebamo uwiteguye kuba umugore agahita amugira umugore we.Abahanga bavuga ko imyaka myiza yo gushinga urugo ari hagati ya 28 na 32, ngo iyo yiyongereye ikagera kuri 42 amahirwe yo guhinga urugo aragabanuka akagera hafi ya 0.
3.Urugo ntirwubakirwa kubwiza by’inyuma:Hari inyigo yakoze igaragaza ko iyo umuhungu n’umukobwa bakundanye, umukobwa ari mwiza (akurura buri wese) mu rukundo rwabo baba bishimye. Gusa John T. Molloy mu gitabo yanditswe yise ‘Why Men Marry Some Woman and Not Others’‘impamvu abagabo barongora umugore runaka bakareka bariya’ yavuzemo ko ubwiza bw’umugore butagira icyanga. John yabajijwe abagabo barenga 3 500, kugira icyo bavuga ko bagore babo 20% nibo bakoresheje amagambo agaruka ku bwiza ‘gorgeous, attractive, na sexy. 80% bavuze ku myitwarire y’abagore babo. Abo bagabo bose bavuze ko umugore kuba ari mwiza ku buryo udatinya kumwerekana ari ingenzi ariko ngo iki sicyo cya mbere, ngo ahubwo umugore mwiza ni utagukoza isoni.
4.Umukobwa ujyanye n’ibihe umusore arimo ariko ataberanye n’ahazaza h’umusore: Bamwe mu basore biyemeza kuzashaka umugore ari uko bageze ku bintu runaka, yazamuwe mu kazi, yubatse inzu n’ibindi. Muri iki igihe uyu musore aba akirwana no kugera kuri izi nzozi ze aba akeneye umukobwa bakundana, iyo amaze kubigeraho agasanga uwo mukobwa atarigeze amusunika, aramureka kuko aba akeneye umugore utazamurumbya kugira ngo ibyo amaze kugeraho bitazasubira inyuma ahubwo bazagere no kubindi byinshi.
5.Umusore ashobora kubona umukunzi we yaranyuzwe:Umusore n’umukobwa bakundanye igihe hari igihe umukobwa atibutsa uwo musore ingingo yo gushing urugo bagahugira mu kwinezeza gusa, umusore akagira ngo ibyo uwo mukobwa biramuhagije. Yareba ku ruhande yabona undi mukobwa umwereka ko akeneye kuba umugore uwo musore agahita areka uwo bamaze igihe bakundana agasanga uri kumurembuza amwicira akajijo ngo bashing urugo. Nanone hari igihe umukobwa arambirwa gutegereza akabivamo, iyo uwo musore abonye uwo mukobwa amucitse bakundanaga, undi bakundanye yihutira kumusaba kuzamubera umugore kugira ngo nawe atazamucika.Inzobere mu by’imiterereze zivuga ko iyo abakundanye batagiranye amakimbirane bagitangira gukundana ingo zabo zitaramba, bityo ngo umusore cyangwa umukobwa ntakwiye kwanga kwiyereka umukunzi we uko ari bagitangira gutundana.Abakobwa banga gutanga ibitekerezo byabo birabagora kwambikwa impeta. 73% mu bagore John yabajije bamusubije ko bagize uruhare mu kwereka abagabo babo ko bashaka kuba abagore.
6.Ntabwo umubano wose uganisha kuri marriage: Abakobwa batozwa ko umusore ubitayeho igihe kinini, ko urukundo rurambye rurangirira ku gushinga urugo ariko siko kuri. Imyumvire y’abagore itandukanye n’iy’abagabo. Abagabo bo mu myumvire yabo iyo bitinze birapfa.
Umusore n’umukobwa bakundanye hari igihe umusore ageraho akabibona ko atazakugira umugore ariko agatinya kubikubwira, ugakomeza ugategereza warambirwa ukagenda agahita ashaka undi akamugira umugore.
7.Inama z’inshuti n’ababyeyi: Hari abashobora kwibeshya ko umusore aba yigenga mu gufata icyemezo cyo guhitamo uwo azagira umugore ariko sibyo, ahubwo ibitekerezo yumvana ababyeyi be, n’inshuti ze nibyo bimuyobora mu guhitamo umukobwa uzamubera umugore. Bibaho ko hari abasore cyangwa abakobwa bahitamo uwo bazabana batitaye ku byifuzo by’ababyeyi babo kuri iyi ngingo ariko ni gake.
