Iyo umukunzi cyangwa uwo mwashakanye aguciye inyuma, akenshi abantu bagira umujinya mwinshi ku muntu bari kumwe mu buriganya—aho kumva ko icyaha cyose ari icy’uwo mwari musanzwe mubana. Nyamara, si ko biba bikwiye kubibona. Hari uburyo ushobora kwitwaramo ku muntu wagucanye inyuma ku mukunzi wawe, bukaguhesha agaciro n’ubwenge, aho guheranwa n’umujinya.
1. Ntumufate nk’aho ari umuntu udasanzwe watwaye umutima w’uwawe
Ntuzamufate nk’igitangaza ngo wumve ko ari we watsinze urukundo rwawe. Niba umukunzi wawe cyangwa uwo mwashakanye yaramwemeye, si uko uwo muntu afite ikidasanzwe—bishobora kuba ataruta abandi, ndetse n’ubwiza cyangwa amafaranga bishobora kuba nta ho bihuriye. Ibyo bibazo byaturutse mu mubano wanyu ni byo byamushyize mu mwanya wo kuba “igisimbura”.
Ibi ntibivuze ko ugomba kwirengagiza amakosa y’uwaguciye inyuma, ariko bikwereka ko hari byinshi byo gusuzuma mu mubano wawe aho gutinda ku wo mwashwanye.
2. Ntusuzugure agaciro kawe ugendeye ku mubano wabo
Umubano wabo ushingiye ku kinyoma, ku guhisha no ku guhemuka. Nubwo bashobora kugaragara nk’ababanye neza mu ntangiriro, igihe kigera bigatangira gusenyuka—nk’uko byagendekeye wowe.
Guhemuka ntibivuga ko hari ikitaguhagije cyangwa ko uri mubi—ahubwo ni icyemezo cy’umukunzi wawe cyo guhunga inshingano no kwirengagiza umubano wanyu. Ni amahitamo mabi kandi asenya.
3. Wikwigira nyir’amakosa
Ntukiyitire amakosa atari ayawe. Iyo wumva ko ari wowe watumye aguca inyuma, bituma uheranwa n’agahinda, ukibaza niba udahagije. Oya—ibyo ni ibikomere uba ugomba kwakira, nk’uko wigeze kwihangana no gutsinda ibindi bibazo mu buzima. Icy’ingenzi ni ukumenya ko ibyo byakozwe n’uwo mwari mubanye ari amahitamo ye, atari ayo wahisemo.
Isoni, igisebo n’agahinda bigomba kumuguma we, kuko ari we wabikoze yihishe kandi yirengagije uwo bari kumwe.
Icy’ingenzi: Hitamo icyemezo kizima
Iyo umaze gutekereza utyo, ubasha gufata icyemezo gifatika, kijyanye n’icyo wifuza ku buzima bwawe n’uko ushaka kubana n’uwo muntu mu gihe kiri imbere. Kwigira inama ni intambwe ya mbere yo gusubira ku murongo w’ubuzima bwawe, kuko agaciro kawe ntigashingira ku byemezo bibi by’undi muntu.
