Abakobwa benshi bakunze kuba mu rukundo bahatiriza kuko barambiwe guhinduranya abakunzi ndetse bamwe bakumva batuza ari uko bisanze bashakanye n’abo bakunda, ariko hari imico ica amarenga ndetse ikakugaragariza ko umusore wihambiraho atagukeneye nk’umugore.
Marriage.com ivuga ko abakobwa benshi ku Isi batewe agahinda ko gukunda urukundo rudasanzwe nyamara bagakunda abadakeneye urukundo rwabo, ariko bakababeshya ko babakunda. Abasore nabo bahura n’iki kibazo, ndetse hari ababana by’agahato ariko bagera mu ngo nabwo bikanga.
Iyi ni imico iranga umusore udafite urukundo ruganisha ku kubana, ndetse utagukunda:
1. Ntabwo ateza imbere umubano wanyu:Iyo abasore bashishikajwe no gushyingirwa cyangwa agukunda ku buryo atifuza kukubura, akoresha amahirwe yose afite umubano ugakura. Umusore utifuza kukugira umugore we imyaka itabarika yashira mwitwa ko mukundana, ariko nta ntego yo kubana akuganirizaho.
Abasore bamwe na bamwe bifuza kuguma mu rukundo rudafite intego kabone n’iyo yaba azi ko umukobwa akeneye umugabo, cyangwa akamwemerera ibyo yifuza kugira ngo bagumane azi neza ko igihe runaka azamutunguza kumuhemukira.
2. Iyo umukunzi amubajije ku gushyingirwa, ahindura ibiganiro:Umusore utifuza ko muzabana ntabwo yerura ngo akubwire ko atagukeneye nk’umugore we w’ahazaza, ndetse bamwe batareba kure baha igihe kirekire abakunzi babo kigoranye kugira ngo baruhuke ibyo bibazo babazwa byerekeye gushyingirwa.Igihe ugiye mu rukundo n’umusore ni byiza kuganira nawe ku mubano wanyu n’igihe muzabanira niba ubimwifuzaho, ndetse ukaba maso kugira ngo utazababara umutima wawe igihe azaba yaguhindutse, wita ku myitwarire imuranga mu rukundo rwanyu.
3. Arasamara iyo ageze mu bandi bakobwa:Uwitwa Stella ukomoka muri America yatanze ubuhamya bw’ukuntu umukunzi we yamusabye kumuherekeza mu birori by’inshuti ye yari isoje amashuri ya Kaminuza, maze umusore bakundanaga ageze mu birori akunda umwe mu bakobwa bitabiriye maze stella ashengurwa n’ibyo abonye kandi biteguraga kubana, Umusore waguhisemo wifuza no kukugira umugore ntabwo muba mugipfa abandi bakobwa, ntabwo aba aguhisha ibikorwa bye, ntabwo mupfa ubutumwa bugufi yoherereza abandi bakobwa kuko aba atewe ishema nawe.
Kenshi abakobwa bakunze kurangwa n’impuhwe no kubabarira byoroshye, ariko igihe ubabarira umukunzi wawe amakosa atabarika aho gufata umwanzuro ngo uve mu rukundo, menya ko isaha n’isaha yakubabaza kuko aba atakigutinya.
4. Akwereka urukundo akeneye imibonan***o mpuzabitsi***a: mwe mu mico izakwereka ko uri guta umwanya ku musore udafite gahunda yo kukugira umugore, ni uko urukundo rwe azarukwereka igihe akeneye ko mukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, Muri kamere y’abagabo ni uko igihe agukunda akenshi ataguha amahoro kubera kuguhangayikira, kubabazwa n’uko utishimye, n’ibindi.Ariko umusore utakwifuzaho umuntu bazabana ahugira mubye agahuguka yifuza ko mujya mu ngeso mbi z’ubusambanyi, kuko ntabwo kwangirika kwawe abona bizamuhungabanya ku buzima bwe.Igihe cyose ugiye mu rukundo waba umusore cyangwa umukobwa, ni byiza mwembi kuganira mukamenya impamvu ibazanye mu rukundo, mwaba mwese mwifuza kubana mugatangira kwitoza kuba ababyeyi beza b’ahazaza.
5. Ahorana amaganya:Umusore utakuviramo umugabo ahora aguha impamvu zidafatika, ndetse n’igihe mwemeranije kubana yaguhaye iyo kigeze ahimba ibibazo, Uzavamo umugabo muzima ntabwo ahora aganya, ahubwo akemura ibibazo bimwugarije mu maguru mashya. Igihe ubonye afite imwe muri iyo mico, itonde ntuhatirize kubana nawe.
