Umaze igihe ubana n’umugabo wawe ariko uhora umukeka ko yaba aguca inyuma bitewe n’imyitwarire idasanzwe umubonana? Biranashoboka ko waba waramufatiye mu cyuho ariko ukaba wibaza uko wabyifatamo, niba mwatandukana cyangwa se niba hari icyo wakora ngo umubano wanyu usubire uko wahoze.Ikibazo cyo gucana inyuma hagati y’abashakanye kiri muri bimwe bitaborohera kwihanganira. Gusa nubwo bigoye hari uburyo urubuga love intelligence rugaragaza umuntu akwiye kwitwaramo igihe ari guhangana n’icyo kibazo kiri mu bikomerera abubatse ingo.
Hari abibwira ko gusenga n’ibindi bijyanye n’agakiza abantu bafite bishobora gutuma iki kibazo kitakugiraho ingaruka ariko baba bibeshya kuko byose biterwa n’uko umutima w’umuntu wakira ukanabasha guhangana n’ibibazo.
Dore imyitwarire 8 ikwiye kukuranga igihe wamenye ko umugabo wawe aguca inyuma nk’uko urubugaba women resources rubitangaza:
1. Kudahita ubishyira ku karubanda: Niba warafashe umugabo wawe aguca inyuma guhita ubishyira ku karubanda ni ikosa. Icya mbere uba umennye ibanga ubundi ryari iry’urugo ikindi biba bigoye ko wabasha kwiyunga no kongera kubana n’umugabo wawe amahoro kuko unabigerageje amagambo yabantu yazatuma uhindura icyemezo cyawe dore ko uba waramaze gutuma babimenya.
2. Wihita ufata umwanzuro wo kwihorera: Muri kamere ya muntu harimo ko iyo ahemukiwe kwihorera biza mu bya mbere atekerezaho. Uretse no kuba gusambana n’umuntu utazi uko ubuzima bwe buhagaze wahakura izindi ngaruka, byanatuma nta tandukaniro ugaragaje hagati yawe n’umugabo waguciye inyuma. Ahubwo byatuma ahita abona ko ntakosa yakoze kuko mwese muri bamwe ntacyo umurushije.
3. Kuganira: Niba waragenzuye ukabura impamvu yamuteye kuguca inyuma igikurikiraho ni ikiganiro. Musabe umwanya mujye ahantu hihereye nk’uko mwajyaga mubigenza ibintu bitarazamba. Hanyuma mu buryo butuje no mu ijwi rituje umubaze icyamuteye kuguca inyuma, icyo yakuburanye yagiye gushaka ahandi. Abagabo ni abana beza nuca bugufi azakubwira icyabimuteye bityo ubashe kumenya niba hari uruhare ubifitemo cyangwa ntarwo. Nubwo atari ingeso yahoranye ariko abagabo bagenzi be nabo bashobora kumwanduza uwari muzima agahinduka atazi uko bigenze.Nyuma y’ikiganiro nibwo uzabona n’uko umubabarira. Kubabarira ni ingenzi ku bantu bose bakundana. Nutabasha kumubabarira ngo murebe imbere hazaza umubano wanyu uzaba ushingiye ku buryarya kuko uzahora wumva utamwiyumvamo kandi uhore umukeka.
Niba rero uhisemo ko mwakomeza kubana kubera impamvu z’abana mwabyaranye, inzozi mufite z’ahazaza, byinshi muhuriyeho, urukundo umukunda nubwo yaguciye inyuma dore ibyo ukwiye kwitwararika:
4. Mube hafi: Guhunga urugo ntacyo byakugezaho. Guhunga ikibazo siwo muti wacyo. Ugomba kuba mu rugo rwawe ukongera imbaraga aho yakubwiye bipfira mu kiganiro mwagiranye, kandi ukarushaho kumwereka urukundo no kumuba hafi . Bizamurinda kongera gukebaguzwa.
5. Mwubakire ku byiza: Nubwo yaguhemukiye ariko ntago ibyo akora byose ari amakosa muba mugiye gutangira bushya. Ibibafitiye inyungu nibyo mugomba guha umwanya, Mwubake ubumwe kurusha uko byahoze. Ahanini umugabo ajya guca umugore inyuma kuko nta bumwe bubatse, ibihe bimurinda kwifuza abandi bagore n’ibindi bituma umutima we udashikama ku rugo rwe.
6. Iyubakemo icyizere: Birashoboka ko ikizere wamugiriraga cyangiritse kuko yaguciye inyuma, uba ugomba kucyubaka bushya. Ibuka ko nta cyizere kiri hagati yanyu umubano wanyu waba wubatse kumusenyi udafite ishingiro. Irinde kumucyurira kuko ikosa yararyemeye ndetse abigusabira imbabazi agusezeranya ko atazabyongera.
7. Muhate urukundo: Impamvu nyamukuru yo gucana inyuma kw’abashakanye iyo atari ingeso bishobora guterwa no kugabanuka ko kwitanaho guterana umugongo mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ingeso mbi ziranga abagore bamwe na bamwe n’ibindi.Iki nicyo gihe cyo kumwereka urukundo utigeze umugaragariza. Nicyo gihe cyiza cyo kongera imbaraga aho wadohotse. Ongera wiyiteho, abagabo bakunda umugore usa neza ufite isuku. Mureshye wituma abakowa bakiri bato bamugutwara kandi ntacyo bakurusha uretse kwiyitaho. Itange mu gihe cy’akabariro niba wari usanzwe uri umunebwe.Nubwo bitoroshye kubabarira no kongera kubaka umubano igihe umugabo wawe yaguciye inyuma ariko birashoboka. Abagushuka guhita usenya bime amatwi. Hari ingo nyinshi zibanye neza kandi barigeze guhura n’iki kibazo ariko kuba barabashije kukigobotoramo neza bigatuma bongera kubana neza kandi mu mahoro.Nubwo kandi mwatandukana hari igihe undi washaka yajya akubabaza kurenza uko wabitekerezaga. Ikindi ntugomba kwireba ubwawe ngo wirengagize ahazaza habana banyu n’uburere bwabo igihe muzaba mumaze gutandukana.