Ngo haba hari amakosa menshi ajya akunda gukorwa n’abasore iyo barimo kwaka ubucuti ariko ntibabimenye, nyamara ngo mu gihe wabimenye ntabwo bishobora kukwangira. Niba rero wifuza gusaba ubucuti bikaguhira burya ngo gerageza kwirinda amakosa akurikira kuko wasanga ari yo mpamvu bitajya biguhira hanyuma unakurikize inama uribugirwe:
- Ikosa rya Mbere ugomba kwirinda ni iryo kugaragaza ko utifitiye icyizere imbere y’ uwo usaba ubucuti
Ngo mu gihe urimo uvugisha cyangwa se uganiriza umukobwa wumva yakubera incuti, gerageza umwereke ko wifitiye icyizere kuko ngo burya abakobwa bakunda abasore bigirira icyizere. Muvugishe wisanzuye kandi ucisha make kuko ngo numuvugisha wikomeje, umukanga, nta cyo azakumarira. Ariko numwisanzuraho kandi ugacisha make azakwisanzuraho akubwire byinshi wifuza kumumenyaho, ari yo nzira yo kukwemerera ubucuti.
- Irinde ikosa ryo guhubuka umubwira ibigambo byinshi n’ imitoma itagira ingano
Burya ngo abakobwa benshi ntibakunda abasore bahubuka , bakunze kugira ibigambo byinshi ndetse bakanabivanga n’imitoma mu gihe bitari ngombwa. Akenshi rero abahungu bakora ibi bagira ngo ni bwo bari bukurure abakobwa ariko burya ngo si ko biri kuko biba bigaragaza ko ibyo bintu uvuga uhubutse bitagufasheho bityo ngo akabona ko udakomeye mu byo uvuga. Mugihe rero ngo ugiye gusaba ubucuti genda wiyoroheje (wibigira intambara), umusuhuze unamwibwire mu gihe ubona ashobora kuba atakuzi neza, umubwire n’utundi tugambo dusazwe nko kumubaza niba yaryohewe, uko ijoro ryamugendekeye, n’ibindi bitewe n’igihe, wirinde kumusaba ubucuti ako kanya, bityo ngo azabona ko uri umuntu warezwe kandi ushobora gusabana biguheshe amanota meza imbere ye.
- Irinde kuba wamuhagarara iruhande cyangwa se ukamurindira igihe kinini mu gihe ari kumwe na begenzi be( abakonwa b’ inshuti ze)
Iri ngo ni ikosa rikomeye rikunda gukorwa n’abahungu benshi, ukabona umukobwa ari kumwe na mugenzi we bakeneye kwiganirira utuntu twabo, na we kuko wumva wamuhora iruhande ntubahe akanya ngo biganirire. Ibi rero ngo bibangamira abakobwa batari bake aho baba babona atari ikinyabupfura cy’umuntu wifuza ko yakubera inshuti.
Mu gihe ubonye ngo arikumwe cyangwa se ahuye n’izindi nshuti ze mubwire ko wishimiye kumubona, no kumenyana n’izo ncuti ze umusabe nimero ye ya telephone, hanyuma ubabwire ko udashoboye gukomeza kuba hamwe na bo kubera izindi gahunda ufite, ubasezere wigendere ubundi ukomeze gahunda zawe, werekane ko ufite ubuzima bwawe kandi uzi kubwitwaramo, icyo wari kumubwira uzakimubwire ubutaha cyangwa uze kumuhamagara ugeze mu masaha ukeka ko adahuze, hanyuma na wa mukobwa usaba urukundo, azibuka ko wamwubashye kandi ukubaha n’inshuti ze, abone ko witwara nk’umuntu ufite ikinyabupfura kandi warezwe abe yakwifuza ko wazamubera ishema no muri bagenzi be ndetse kandi ngo n’umwe bari bari kmwe azamugushimira.
- Irinde ikosa ryo kwaka nimero cyangwa se kubaza andi makuru wifuza kumenya ku mukobwa hanyuma ngo nurangiza uhite ujya kuvugisha undi mukobwa na wa wundi wifuza kwaka ubucuti agihari akureba
Ibi rero ngo ni bibi cyane kuko wa mukobwa ahita abona ko nta gahunda ugira kandi ko ukunda abakobwa benshi. Mu gihe rero ngo umaze kumwaka numero ye ya telephone, hita ugenda niba hari na gahunda wari ufitanye n’abandi bakobwa hafi aho ube uretse, ubikore ariko yagiye ngo naho ubundi biguha isura itari nziza imbere ye hakaba nubwo ushobora no kuza kumuhamagara ntanakwitabe kuko nta gihe cyo guta ku muhungu nk’uwo afite.
- Wikora ikosa ryo kwiyemera imbere ye (kumwereka ko uri umuntu wigitinyiro)
Usanga abasore benshi bibwira ko nibatiyemera ngo bivuge ibigwi abakobwa batari bubemere ariko ngo burya si ko biri, itondere kuba uri imbere y’umuntu wifuza kwaka ubucuti ngo utangire kumbwira uko ukomeye, amafaranga ufite, akazi ukora, inzu ubamo, ubwoko bw’imodoka utunze cyangwa se n’undi mutungo wawe, kuko ngo ibi abakobwa benshi bifuza gukunda no gukundwa urukundo nyakuri atari byo baba bifuza kumenya ku ikubitiro. Ahubwo ngo jya ugerageza kuba uwo uri we, ibindi byose nubwo waba ubifite; nk’ako kazi keza n’imodoka, azaba abimenya kuko ntibigura urukundo cyangwa se ngo bibe byatuma agukunda ndetse kandi niyo waba utanabifite irinde kwiyerekana uko uteri; icyo usabwa ni ukumwereka uko uri akagukundira uwo uri we ntagukundire ibyo ufite. Ngo nubwo akenshi usanga abantu benshi bibwira ko abakobwa bakunda abasore bafite ibintu ariko ngo burya si ko biri ababibakundira ntabwo baba bafite urukundo kuko ngo n’ikizabikwereka ni uko iyo yabigukundiye bikageza ho bigashira akwanga. Aha rero ngo menyako abakobwa bakunda ababereka ko bazabaha urukundo nyakuri, bakabatetesha, kuruta uko wamwereka ibintu, aha ngo icyabikwemeza ni uko ushobora kubona umusore ufite ibintu ndetse n’uburanga ari bwose ariko ntakundwe, ariko hakaba n’ufite duke ariko ugasanga yigondeye umukobwa w’igishongore. Ibi rero ngo nta kindi bisaba uretse kwerekana ko uri umugabo nyamugabo ushobora kwifatira icyemezo runaka, ko uri umuhanga, ko ufite urukundo, ko uzamutetesha kandi ko ufite n’ubushobozi bwo kwitanga mu gihe bibaye ngombwa kuko ngo ibi ari byo akenshi abakobwa baba bifuza ku basore bumva bazagiraho ubucuti, naho ibindi bikaza ari inyongera.
Mugihe rero wowe musore uzirinda aya makosa yose ndetse ugakurikiza inama wagiye uhabwa, ngo hehe no kongera guterwa akadobo (kubengwa) cyangwa ngo witinye utekereza ko nta wakwemera, kuko wabonye uko ugomba kubyitwaramo ubundi ukabona umukobwa w’inzozi zawe.