Burya mu rukundo habaho ibintu byinshi bitandukanye kuba umukobwa umusabye urukundo akarukwemerera ntibihagije ko wamwizera ngo aragukunda. Hari umukobwa ushobora kugukundira amafaranga cyangwa hari indi nyungu runaka agukeneyeho yamara kuyigeraho agahita akureka.Musore niba ufite umukobwa mukundana dore ibintu wasuzuma ukamenya ko umukobwa mukundana agukunda by’ukuri:
1.Agukunda uko uri ?Ahanini umukobwa utagukunda urukundo nyarukundo, aba afite ikintu runaka agakurikiyeho. Haba umutungo, amafaranga menshi uhembwa cyangwa winjiza, imibereho myiza ufite, umuryango wifashije cyangwa ukize,…Umukobwa ugunda by’ukuri agukundira uko uri. Ushobora kwibaza uti ese, mfite urwego rwiza rw’ubuzima ndiho kugeza ubu, nabwirwa n’iki unkunda atankundiye ibyo mfite?Ni ikibazo cyiza ariko kiroroshye kukibonera umuti. Kugira ngo umenye neza ikimugenza, bisaba igihe gihagije no kumwiga birambuye. Uko mugenda mumarana igihe, ni nako ugenda ubona mu by’ukuri icyo agamije n’icyo agukurikiyeho. Ashobora kukwishushanyaho ukwezi kumwe ariko nimumarana igihe gihagije nk’umwaka uzashyira ubone uruhande ahagazemo.
2.Ntagusaba ibya mirenge ?Iyi ngingo yuzuzanya n’iya mbere. Umukobwa ugukunda ntaguhoza ku nkeke agutura ibibazo, n’ibyo udashoboye akabikwikoreza. Kutaremerera umusore bakundana, ni ikimenyetso wagenderaho ukamenya umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri.
3.Aragukebura ? Mu Kinyarwanda baca umugani ngo ntawigira kandi ngo nta mugabo umwe. Abasore bagira ingeso zimwe na zimwe zitari nziza. Hari izo umusore aba yaravukanye ari kamere ye cyangwa izo agenda yigira kuri bagenzi be. Umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri agerageza kugukebura aho abona bitagenda neza. Iyo abona ufite imico cyangwa ingeso zikwangiriza isura mu bandi, akoresha uko ashoboye akakwereka ububi bwayo akanagufasha kuyikira.
4. Agushyira muri gahunda ze z’ejo hazaza: Mwene uyu mukobwa ahora yihatira gukora ibikorwa bibafitiye mwembi ejo hazaza akamaro. Niyo ntacyo murageraho, wumva mu nzozi ze harimo kuzabana na we ubuzima bwe bwose. Nubwo mutarabana ariko atangira kukugufata nk’umutware we.
5.Biragorana ko muryamana ? Nubwo muri iki gihe urubyiruko rwagize gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina nk’umukino, umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri biragorana ko akwemerera ko muryamana. Yego hari ababanza kwijijisha ngo bakwereke ko batigeze basambana, ariko ahanini umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri icyo abikorera ni uko aba yumva kuryamana byatuma hagira igihinduka mu hazaza hanyu nk’uko twabibonye mu ngingo ibanza.Iteka kuri we aba yifuza ko wazamubere umutware. Kuba mwaryamana igihe kitaragera (Mutarasezerana), aba abona ushobora kudohoka cyangwa kuva mu rukundo/umubano mwari mufitanye. Wowe uba ubonye icyo ushaka, we akabona azasigara ariria mu myotsi kubera icyemezo kigayitse yafashe akareka mukaryamana. Si ukuvuga ko adafite umubiri nk’uw’abandi cyangwa ngo abe agira ubushyuhe mu mubiri, ahubwo atekereza cyane ku ngaruka z’icyo gikorwa yaba yishoyemo imburagihe.
6. Aguhishurira amateka y’ubuzima bwe ?Umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri kandi ukwibonamo,arakwibwira wese. Nubwo abakobwa bakunda kwirekura no kuvuga amateka y’ubuzima bwabo,ariko iyo ageze aho akubwira byose byamubayeho,ibyo yaciyemo,iba ari intambwe nziza yo kukwizera no kukwimariramo.Ntiwabwira umuntu utizeye ubuzima bwawe cyangwa amateka yawe yahahise. Icyo ugomba kugenzura ,ni ukureba niba akubwira byose. Kukubwira byose hakubiyemo no kukubwira amakosa n’ingeso mbi zagiye zimuranga mu hahise he. Umukobwa ukubwira ibyiza gusa yagiye akora cyangwa byamubayeho,uzamugireho ikibazo,utangire no kumukemanga.
7. Kukugirira ishema: Umukobwa ugukunda aterwa ishema na we. Igihe mugendana ntagira ipfunwe ryo kugufata akaboko, kukwisanzuraho atitaye ku maso ya rubanda. Kugukunda akanabyerekana ni ikimenyetso wagenderaho ukemeza ko agukunda by’ukuri kandi atagutendekaho abandi basore/bagabo.
8.Kukubaha: Umukobwa ugukunda by’ukuri arakubaha. Guca bugufi k’umukobwa/umugore imbere y’igitsinagabo ni ikimenyetso cy’urukundo. N’ubwo uburinganire bwaje ariko ntibwakuyeho ko umugore aba agomba guca bugufi imbere y’umugabo.
9.Kukugaragariza urukundo n’amarangamutima nta mbereka: Kuba ukunda umuntu ntibihera mu magambo. Ugomba kubimwereka no mu bikorwa. Iyo umukobwa ateye intambwe akakwereka ko atari amagambo gusa ahubwo akagira n’ibikorwa agukorera,fata ukomeze umukobwa ni uwo. Ibyo bikorwa harimo: Kukugenera impano,kuzirikana amataliki y’ingenziy’ubuzima bwawe, kukuba hafi igihe uri mu byishimo no mu byago mukba muri kumwe.