Abasore ni bamwe mu bantu batagorana ndetse bataruhanya, kuri bo iyo bagiye guhitamo umukobwa bakundana bo usanga batareba ibintu byinshi. Kuba umukobwa asa neza umurebeye inyuma ndetse anafite umutima mwiza bishobora kumuhaza, nyamara mu gihe abakobwa bo bareba utuntu twinshi iyo bagiye guhitamo umuhungu bakundana, Nawe nk’umuhungu ujya wibaza uti ese ni ibiki byakurura umukobwa bigaragarira amaso kuri wowe! gusa ugomba kuzirikana ko burya abakobwa bakunda utuntu twinshi icyarimwe, ndetse akantu gato gusa gashobora kumukurura kuri wowe.
Urubuga Elcrema rwatangaje ibintu by’ingenzi abahungu bagira ahanini bikurura abakobwa bikaba byanatuma bagufata nk’umwe mu bo bahitamo mu gihe bagiye guhitamo uwo bakundana:
1.Umuhungu wigenga: Abakobwa ntabwo bakunda umuhungu usabiriza utuntu twose kuko kuri bo umuhungu utigenga ntibamukunda, Urugero ni nk’umuhungu ubeshwaho n’amafaranga y’ababyeyi cyangwa inshuti gusa we atikorera bamubona nk’umuhungu utabasha no gukunda no kujya inama nkuko bikwiriye kuko kuri bo bene nk’uwo aba ameze nkaho ntacyemezo yakwifatira atabajije abandi, Bitandukanye n’ibyo abahungu benshi bibeshya ntamukobwa ushaka kukubera umubyeyi wawe keretse mama wawe nyine, ninayo mpamvu abakobwa bakunda abahungu bigenga ndetse bazi kwifatira ibyemezo.
2.Umuhungu usa neza: Nk’uko abakobwa benshi bakunda gusa neza ndetse no kwikesha, ni nako bajya guhitamo umuhungu babanje kureba niba asa neza mu myambarire ye. Ku kijyanye no gusa neza abakobwa ntago basaba ibintu byinshi ahubwo baba bashaka ko umuhungu yambara imyenda imeshe cyangwa iteye ipasi ku buryo kugendana nawe mu nzira bitamutera ipfunwe.
3.Umuhungu ushima: Burya rero abahungu bakunda kugaya utuntu twinshi ndetse no gusebya ibintu runaka ariko bagamije gusetsa (sarcasm) ntabwo abakobwa babakunda., Umukobwa ashobora gusetswa nibyo uvuga ariko iyo ukunze kugaya ibintu byose ugamije gusetsa ntago biba byoroshye ko agukunda, ahubwo abakobwa bakunda umuhungu usetsa ariko mu buryo bwiza butagaya abandi, kandi na none udacana intege mbese ugerageza kubona ibintu byose neza, niyo byaba ari bibi ukabona ashatse uburyo bwiza abivugamo.
4.Umuhungu uzi kuganira: Abahungu benshi bajya babona abakobwa nk’abantu bagira amagambo menshi, ndetse hari nabahitamo kumva umukobwa cyane bo ntibavuge, bitwaje ko aribyo bakunda ariko nyamara burya ngo bimwe mu byo abakobwa bakunda ni umuhungu uganira, uzanacunge aho utuye umuhungu uzi kuganira usanga abakobwa benshi bamwiyumvamo kurusha wa wundi ucecetse cyane, Impamvu ni uko umuhungu uzi kuganiriza abakobwa aba azi no gutega amatwi, ibi akaba ari ibintu bikurura abakobwa cyane kuko bakunda umuntu ubumva akabatega amatwi ndetse akabereka ko ahari. Iki ni kimwe mu bigora abahungu cyane kuko abahungu bakunda gukoresha ibikorwa cyane kurusha amagambo iyo baganira.
5.Umuhungu usabana: Burya rero umukobwa na none akururwa n’umuhungu usabana n’abantu kabone nubwo bwaba ari ubwa mbere bahuye, wa muhungu uzamenya kuganiriza inshuti y’umukobwa bahuye, ku buryo umukobwa azasigara abona icyo yirata cyangwa nanone umuhungu uzamenya gusabana n’abo mu muryango w’umukobwa kuburyo umukobwa yakwifuza kugendana nawe aho yaba ari hose.
6.Umuhungu uzi ubwenge: Nubwo rwose abakobwa benshi iyo bagiye gukunda umuhungu bakururwa n’ubwiza bw’inyuma ariko na none hari abandi bakobwa bakururwa n’ubuhanga ndetse n’ubwenge bw’umuhungu. Umuhungu ugaragaza ubumenyi afite, abakobwa bamwe babibona nk’ikintu cyiza, nk’umuntu wo kuratwa, bityo bikaba byabatera kugukunda, Gusa ibi ntibivuze ko ugomba kugerageza kugaragaza ko urenze aho ugeze hose hari abakobwa, kuko iyo uvuze ikintu ugerageza kugisobanura kikakunanira abakobwa bareba biba bibi kuko babibona nko kwiyemera.Biba byiza iyo wicishije bugufi ukaza kugaragaza ubuhanga bwawe mu gihe batatekerezaga.
7.Umuhungu uzi gukunda ndetse ugira amarangamutima: Umuhungu uzi gukunda mu yandi magambo wita kubantu, ibi bikunze nko kugaragra nko kubahungu bakunda abana bato ukabona barasha kubitaho, cyangwa ugasanga ni wa muhungu ukunze gutekereza ku muryango we,Nubwo bataba bari kumwe ugasanga arabaza amakuru yabo, ndetse yifitemo urukundo mubigaragara ubona akunda abantu, bene uyu muhungu akurura abakobwa cyane ndetse umukobwa wese bahuye akabona ibi ntago kwihangana bikunda usanga agenda amurata.
8.Umuhungu ufite inzozi: Abahungu benshi usanga batekereza ko umukobwa wese ntakindi yamukundira atari amafarnga ye, gusa ibi siko bihora bimeze, burya hari abakobwa bakururwa nuko babona ufite inzozi nziza ndetse zanabateza imbere muramutse mwubakanye ugasanga kuri we kukubona nk’umuhungu ariko uri umuntu ushakisha cyangwa ufite inzozi abifashe nk’ikintu cyiza ndetse bikaba byanamutera kugukunda.
9.Umuhungu wifitiye ikizere: Birashoboka ko nyuma yo gusoma ibi byose wisanze byose ubyujuje ariko ukaba ubona nta mukobwa ukwegera, cyangwa batanezezwa no kuganira nawe, cyangwa abo ugerageza bose bakwanga. Hari ikintu cy’ingenzi aricyo kwigirira icyizere, Burya umuhungu utigirira ikizere ntashobora kunezeza umukobwa kuko burya nubwo abakobwa batabivuga mu magambo ngo berure ariko bakunda abahungu bigirira icyizere ndetse baniyemera, nubwo nta mutungo mwinshi waba ufite ariko kugaragaragaza ko uhagaze neza mutwo ufite ndetse wifitiye ikizere ni ikintu gikurura abakobwa cyane, Nawe nk’umuhungu ujya wibaza uti ese ni ibiki byakurura umukobwa bigaragarira amaso kuri wowe! gusa ugomba kuzirikana ko burya abakobwa bakunda utuntu twinshi icyarimwe, ndetse akantu gato gusa gashobora kumukurura kuri wowe., Aha rero ngiye kukubwira ibintu by’ingenzi abahungu bagira ahanini bikurura abakobwa bikaba byanatuma bagufata nk’umwe mubo bahitamo mugihe bagiye guhitamo uwo bakundana.
10. Umuhungu wiyubaha: Burya ngo iyo wiyubaha ubasha no kubaha abandi, ibi nibyo bituma abakobwa benshi bakururwa n’umusore wiyubaha kuko baba baziko azabasha kububaha akanabubahisha mu bandi. Ibi bituma amenya ibyo amubwira, igihe abimubwiriramo naho abimubwirira, Uzasanga benshi mu bakobwa bakunda aba basore biyubaha kuko aribo babasha gukundana bikaramba kuko babasha kubahana kuburyo biba bigoye ko umwe yakora ibikorwa bisuzuguza undi.