Umuhanga waminuje mu bijyanye n’ imibanire mibi n’ ihohoterwa mu miryango Sharie Stines wo muri Leta ya California,yasobanuye ijambo ‘ kuryarya’ agira ati” Ni imyumvire mibi y’ ibibera mu muntu ndetse bikaba uburyo bubi bukoreshwa n’ abantu baba bashoboye gusaba icyo bashaka Kandi bagishaka ako kanya.
Abantu bakoresha ubu buryo bwo kuryarya’ bagenzi babo, baba bashaka kubayobora cyangwa kubegeka ku ntekerezo zabo ngo bazumve nabo”. Ni byiza kumenya aya mayeri akoreshwa n’ aba bantu baba bagambiriye kukubeshya utitaye ku kuba mwegeranye cyangwa ari umuntu wawe wa hafi.
Iyi nkuru ntabwo yakozwe kugira ngo igaragaze ko hari umuntu runaka ufite iki kibazo mu mutwe we cyo kuryarya bagenzi be akoresheje amagambo tugiye kugarukaho. Gusa nusanga ushobora kugirwaho ingaruka nayo mu mibanire yawe, kubera umuntu wizera ,ugende muganire.
1.”Sinzigera…”. Wigeze wumva umuntu avuga uti “Sinzigera mbikora uko byagenda kose” cyangwa ngo “Sinzigera nitwara muri buriya buryo…”? Ahari yabivuze ku bwe abyivugiye nta yindi mpamvu mbi ibyihishe inyuma. Ibi bikoreshwa mu nkundo z’ aha hanze aha yewe nta n’ ikibi kirimo. Ibi bigaragara uburyo ufite umuhate kandi witeguye gukosora ibyo wakoraga. Niba wumva ko aya magambo aturutse ku ruhande rugucira urubanza igisubizo kiza,cyaba:” Ahari wari kubikora ,ahari ntiwari kubikora ,natwe twakifatira imyanzuro”. Ibi bizagufasha kugabanya igitutu wari uriho aho kwemera gushukwa buhumyi, cyangwa ngo wemere ko imyanzuro yawe yari ipfuye.
2.”Wifata umwanzuro wihuse” ni kangahe wabwiwe ko wafashe umwanzuro wihuse Kandi wowe ubona nta n’ umwanya wari ufite wo gutegereza? Umuntu ushaka kukuryarya rero azakwereka uburyo ugiye guhubuka mu mwanzuro ugiye gufata. Bazabyikoresha bitware nk’ abadafite icyo bakwaka. Uzabona bahangayikishijwe cyane nabyo kukurusha mu gihe babona wanze kuva ku izima. Niba wuyimvamo kutirukansa ibintu,wishukwa guhagarika ibyo watangiye, kuko bashaka kukubona mu mwobo bacukuye.
3.”Ndabizi ibi wabicamo urakomeye ,ariko ndifuza ko ibi wabikora mu buryo bwanjye. Ni ikintu cyiza kuri twese hano waba udukoreye” Kuguma mu Mubano uhora ugushinja amakosa byigeze bikubaho? Mu gihe abantu bashaka kugufatishaho ikintu bazakoresha iyi nteruro ,kugira ngo bagukureho ibyo bifuza by’ ako kanya bitabagoye kandi utanabitekerejeho. Ikiba kiza ni ukiganirira hamwe ikibazo mugafatanya kugishakira umuti mwese hamwe ,singombwa ngo wowe ubibakorere. Ikindi wumve ko ugomba kubahwa. Ese ubundi inzira zawe nizo zitubereye twese? Cyangwa nizo zikubereye wowe?
4.”Reba ibyo watumye nkora!” Iri jambo rikoreshwa cyane mu rukundo cyangwa mu mibanire y’ abantu ya buri munsi ,mu gihe umuntu umwe ashaka kwikuraho amakosa ari kuyegeka kuri mugenzi we cyangwa bagenzi be,nibwo uzumva ateruye ati_ “Mwabonye ibyo mwatumye nkora Koko?”,cyangwa uti”wabonye ibyo watumye nkora!”. Numara kumva iri jambo riturutae kuri mugenzi wawe ,uzibuke ibi” Ntabwo ufite inshingano ku bikorwa bya mugenzi wawe”. Uzamusubize uti” Nta mbaraga mfite zo gutuma hari icyo wowe ukora, wahisemo gukora ibyo wagombaga gukora ,wabyihitiyemo. Nanjye nzabazwa ibyanjye”.
Bakunzi bacu mwakoze kubana natwe muri iyi nkuru, twizera ko wavanyemo ibizagufasha ndetse no kubikoresha mu gihe biri ngombwa. Wibuke ko izi’ nteruro zo kukuryarya akenshi zikoreshwa n’ umuntu ntabwo iteka ryose ariko bihora. Niwumva ko uri gushukwa cyangwa kuryarya, usegere umuntu wizera umuganirize. Reka tumenye uko wakiriye iyi nkuru usige igitekerezo cyawe ahabugenewe.